I am a Collection of Peoples Worst Mistakes.

tonyatthedisco @ 2026-04-17T14:40:00

2026-04-17T19:43:05Z

small update i’m to lazy to do anything rn but type
both my friend and my boyfriend r in the er wow. I got really obsessed with abel from hazbin even tho i hate the show he is my hyperfixation rn ajjaokaoiao
u can prolly tell but i’ve been so tired from testing and it is so HOT outdise im actually gonna die. ok bye. xo. tony

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i fucking loathe your existence

2026-04-05T03:41:01Z

Ts is a vent, im just spewing my mind, listless rn

I hate you. You’ve turned my friends against me, you were my friend. I cherished you. I saw i future with you. And yet you have the balls to kick me down like this and imitate my dog like whines, mimic my limp, and for what?

You get nothing from this but attention, is that what you want? Attention? Does the little mutt want attention? I won’t let you have mine. You can’t take his, you can’t take theirs. I will not allow you to twist my words.

You fucking heartless bastard, do you know what you’re doing to me? You must know. You want this. You want to hurt me. You want to see me limp pathetically as a beg for mercy.

Who are you going to steal next? Marce? My boyfriend? are you such an attention slut you can’t keep your greedy mouth to your own disgusting shit of a man?

I hate you. I mean it this time. I loathe you. I wish you died. I can’t wait till you’re just another percentage. I can’t wait to see the day you burn.

But then again, I miss you. You broke my heart, you know.

I don’t regret what i said.

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friday five again

2026-04-04T03:00:56Z

Doing Friday five again cuz i have no life.

1. Do you like the look of your country's currency (bills and coins)?
Some, the coins are pretty when they have designs on the back, the bills just have old, unattractive, white slave owners on them.
2. Regardless of their actual value, do you like bills or coins better?
Bills. Easier to carry.
3. What is your favorite foreign currency? And why?
I think euros are beautiful, but then again, I haven’t seen a,out of different bills or coins.
4. Do you collect coins or bills? Elaborate.
I don’t have a bias when I collect, I just want money.
5. Do you think human society could make do completely without money? Explain.
Yes, very, in fact we’d be better off. In a perfect Tony world we’d trade, exchange. An economy built on hu and goodness and trust. But then again, we wouldn’t have a government if men were angels.

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So did i…

2026-04-04T02:55:19Z

“Tired young fawns on hunter’s lawns.”

Yeah tired fawns? i’m the fawn. I’m so fucking tired

First, my dog has something wrong with his eye, and to hell if the world must come down, i’m getting to the bottom of it. I’d sacrifice everyone of you for him (sorry). Then we got a new dog, and he got infected, sick, and just found out like 30 minutes ago he has tape worms AND hook worms. How fun. Then my mom starts blowing up on my dad for him apparently “cheating” (he just didn’t want to share his screen on facetime) and I have to deal with the after shock. Now my brother keeps antagonizing her. God today’s a mess.

I swear today is cursed (no I don’t. I’m not gonna jinx myself again). This is worse than unboxing a haunted doll stuck in my couch storage after years of hiding it and having the worst week ever that nearly brung me to the end. I swear all my ancestors are watching from those old baroduq box seats in the grand showing of My Life, The Musical ™

I ALSO lost one of my dearest friends in a big fight. He chose his toxic, borderline abusive, situation-ship of 2 months for his friends for 2 years. We had so much history. I don’t even feel any sorrow, if anything i feel pity for him. He kept defending his stupid boyfriend that has a total god-complex.

Im eating a lava cake from dominos right now, only thing making me feel normal.

oox-Antonio

“Well fuck you, yeah fuck you. Oh i’m terrible? well your fucking casket-case, sweetheart!”

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jeez you are a creep (internal monologue)

2026-03-29T12:53:40Z

“Let my body love your body, baby, all night long”

It feels a bit weird airing out my desires onto here but oh well, if you don’t like it, or know me irl, DO NOT FUCKING READ!

Ahhh…i’ve been so pent up sob. I miss my boyfriend a lot. He literally answered call SHIRTLESS! NOTHING BUT A BLANKET COVERING HIS CHEST! I swear he’s trying to give me a boner.. I feel like those little omegas in heat, but too poor to buy those fancy expensive heat suppressants. God this SUCKS!

I feel like a creep every time i tell him i’m horny whilst we’re talking. He never talks to me while he’s doing that stuff, and i know he does it. He’s a pretty vanilla guy, and i’m a crazy animal. Last time i tried “expressing my emotions” he cock blocked me. He does it on purpose i swear, then he turns around calling me handsome and texting me…things.. god i hate him so much.

i feel like a creature in a cage, set me FREEE!
Watch out Ryan, once im in Alaska it’s over for your sad little dick.

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We Needed to End

2026-03-29T02:22:44Z

i’m a mas collection of people worst mistakes

their the dogs in the bin that i’m letting them out

lungs filled with the words i would share

but your to far to reach a page and write to those letters

and i forget the arms that once held meaning

now they hold nothing but scars

i’ll reach through your headphones

and toy with that pretty little heart

the crack in the door is a mantra enough

please come home to your mistakes

and forget the arms that once held meaning

now they hold nothing but scars

i’ll reach through your headphones and toy with that pretty little heart of yours

and he knows i’ve never felt meaning in this sick sad town

but you gave that meaning and i’ll scream and i’ll shout

i’ll reach through your headphones and break that little heart of yours

i gave you mine to bleed

so why do i still hold on

to the mistakes mistakes you’ve made
(I made this a long time ago, can you tell I was in my FUTCT phase)

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sorry,, again

2026-03-29T02:10:55Z

“Girls used to follow me around, then I got cold”

Sorry again for forgetting to post, decided I’m not gonna post everyday, as it drains me so much. Plus I was being a major freak out this week and got mad at my friends, sorry.

Been dealing with stuff. Life is not very fun right now, in fact, i would say it’s quite terrible. Life is stupid, embrace death.

I just woke up from a lovely nap. One of the best i’ve had since I rarely take them. I feel so tired but refreshed writing this.
Might upload some random rambles, i’ve been feeling creative in my writing.

no coffee today, sadness has enveloped me in its song.
shut the hell up you cornball.

xo-Antionio

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i forgot what i was gonna name this

2026-03-22T01:28:30Z

“I’m not a crybaby, i’m THE crybaby”

Yesterday did not go good in the end. Ended up having a panic attack, amazing! So fun to be on the verge of choking by your own words whilst trying to eat panda express! Then my brother decided the best thing to do was to ramble on about how he knows depression and I don’t have it and friends aren’t real and depression is something made up to sell you more and more drugs to keep you sick so the government can make more money. It did not help. At all. Neither did the fact I couldn’t get a single word in. By the end of it I just stopped responding.

Today was better. I finally got my grubby little hands on a Folie Á Deux vinyl! I’m so happy because it’s my favorite album of all time. I would have a threesome with it if I could. So expensive but worth it.

I also got some gummy’s. Strawberry belts to be specific. Taste so good, yum.

Discussed a lot today. Topic: Is heaven actually that good? To me, no. Heaven sounds like actual torture. Let’s say you actually reach past those pearly gates (which I doubt many today will even do), what is there to do then? Nothing? So your saying, we repent and repent and beg for forgiveness and mercy from a “god” that loves us as equals from a pedestal, and we get nothing in the afterlife but some endless vast that has a few other old bones sitting around? It seems Heaven and Hell are just two sides of the same coin. I would rather make a deal to get my life back after killing a hundred men and then myself for eternity than spend even a week in Heaven.

In my opinion reincarnation is way better. Read “I Woke Up Dead At The Mall”, That would be my ideal representation of the afterlife and reincarnation.

apologies for the big ramble, it’s just something i’m passionate about.
coffee today, so happy, i’ll send a picture of it later if i can.

Mourning a body that still walks, wishing to hear a voice that still talks.
XoxO-Antonio

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QUESTION TIME AYAHAYAYYYA

2026-03-20T22:09:40Z

Another Friday 5! I love answering questions

1. What was the reason you began a Dreamwidth or LiveJournal account (or both)?
I wanted a place to post my thoughts and poetry to better myself. In truth I can be a terrible person, but this has helped my motivation and mental health very well! I do not have a LiveJournal, but I visit it time-to-time for fanfics lol.

2. How many DW or LJ communities do you subscribe to?
I think only this one,, if it counts…

3. Do you have a favorite community or one you check out often to see what's new?
Nope!

4. How did you pick your user name?
I’m a big P!ATD fan, and my nicknames Tony. I may be changing it to something more “smart” sounding, it feels stupid.

5. If you could change your user name, would you?
Yes! I’m always thinking of new names.

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mrinee mienecaft t

2026-03-20T21:59:34Z

“If you let me be your Hollywood.”

Sorry AGAIN for being late, i’ve been so tired, give me a break.

I am SO glad schools almost over. These last few months have been actual hell. 3 Months of freedom, just to be back in the same cage i’ve been trapped in for half my life. I mean hey, it’s better than nothing, right?

I genuinely forgot today was Friday. Thought it was Monday. When I woke up in the morning I freaked out thinking I missed my bus, then fell asleep, and did the same thing 2 more times. It was so stupid. Then I scared myself with scary videos in the middle of the bright day. What can I say? i’m a paranoid person.

I’m suspecting that i’m loosing hearing in one of my ears. When I wear my earbuds, one ear is like…not muffled..yet it feels like it. Like a kitchen light fading after years of its persistent buzzing, if you know what I mean. Hopefully that makes sense. Maybe it’s just more used to the volume of my earbuds being at max for an ungodly amount of time. Hopefully it is. I don’t want to loose my hearing, but then again what’s stopping me from my loud music. Come hell or high water, I will have it up to full volume.

There is no one, but no one is you.
xo-Antonio

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sorry,, lol

2026-03-18T16:58:30Z

“And I can be your light, when all you know is fear”

Sorry I missed a day again, just get used to there being atleast one missing blog, i’m always doing something else.

Nothings really happened lately, just mom getting mad over meaningless things. I’ve been writing more, you’ll probably see more (higher quality) poems here whilst I bore.

I’ve been way more into my old yeemo phase now. Binge watching Dan and Phil at the moment whilst listening to Jordan Sweeto. I guess i’m just growing into my old habits, i’m happy about that. I missed being a weird nerdy child. Played with my friends yesterday to. Whiteboard and minecraft and maybe roblox if i’m awake enough to remeber right now, I feel listless. All of them are at school sadly, no one to hang out with or call. Either that or the people who can i haven’t associated with in months.

I got sick AGAIN. This is the worst.
no coffee, I feel nothing

Turn the music up and swing your hips from the ceiling.
ox- Antonio

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i sound like a perv

2026-03-16T21:11:43Z

“Hand in mine, into your icy blues”

Today kind of pissed me off, but oh well. My brother made us late to pick up the puppies (we were gonna get new dogs) at the adoption center AND completely ignored what I was trying to explain to him. Then he kept poking and touching me. Obviously i told him to stop, as it was annoying, and I was already in a very bad mood. Guess what, he completely disregarded that too at continued to poke me. I was so mad.

I realized my posts have sprung up into some sort of love-bug-ish thread, and it seems very stalker-esque, at least to me. No I am not some crazy stalker obsessed with some random guy. I am a crazy stalker obsessed with my husband, Ryan (cue the dreamy 60s romance music) . I seemed to forget i need to disclose that here. IM MARRIED!! (7 months as of now YAYAY)

I have been very excited because this year on my birthday I get to go wherever I so choose. I’m picking to visit Ryan because this may be my only chance right now. At the moment we’re planning, as none of our parents know about our little forbidden love affair. My parents don’t even know i have online friends, and they would absolutely crucify me if they knew I had an online boyfriend.

no coffee today, but cookies!!!

X AND O- TONY

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To far from me

2026-03-15T02:05:07Z

Can we dance in the beginning of your end

Ties untethered, unbreakable

I cry because of your flowers

I cry because i know

My sweet lilly

The valleys to far from you

Till it’s not even skin on skin

We’re just beating hearts in a mason jar

And yet that,

For me,

Will never be so close

I want to be connected to you,

To be sewn together

To be you

Let’s carve our names

And say our vows

No romeo

I want to kiss you

Teeth to teeth

Till their mangled from the wildness

I am an endless song

I don’t even have a catchy chorus

Yet, you still play the drums

With all your heart

I love you, lilly boy, but you are to far from the valley.

from me.

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ungrounded..finally

2026-03-14T01:03:45Z

“Let’s be alone together”

I am finally ungrounded!

Today was good and bad, mostly good, or mostly bad…I can’t really tell. I’m officially on spring break which is AWSOME! I’ve been waiting for a break from all this mess. My mom also announced we’re getting a pupper tomorrow, also AWSOME! In school I had a really bad stomach ache, at some points I could barely pick up my chrome-book or move, but on the plus I got to head to the nurses office a lot and people carried my stuff.

By the end of the day we had a big party for people with perfect to almost-perfect attendance, I don’t know how I ended up in there but it was super fun. We got popcorn and a bunch of popsicles and got to play outside in the parking lot. I (mischievous as ever) got the AP to play PEAK (Fall Out Boy) for almost the whole time out there, turns out he is a big fan and went to some of their first big concerts (NOFAIRNOFAIRNOFAIIRR)

coffee day, very happy

You’re crazy and wild, my pretty lily, valley boy.

xOO- Tonyboy

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I am an IDIOT!!!

2026-03-12T17:34:57Z

" all the colors of the street signs, they remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house"

I just realized I've been doing my setup completely wrong this whole time. I'm such a moron. The title is supposed to be ya know, the TITLE, and the lyrics go above my paragraphs. I don't know if I'm gonna change the others to fit the layout or just keep it the same... eh...

I'm in class right now at my busiest. Busiest at doing nothing. I mean i finished some assignments I was missing but that's it.

today is soooo slow, but that's probably because its only the beginning.

It's later in the day now and guess what, it was so terrible. Actually no, my day was fine UNTIL a teacher pulled me out of 7th hour to "discuss" my little angry rant here. I said some words that got my laptop flagged. Now I have a meeting with the counselor tomorrow in my day. I don't want to talk to her, I don't trust any counselors, they make me mad.

They talked to my mom too; I was really mad about that. We talked and it's fine. I just told her it was a joke. All I know is I do NOT want to talk to some stupid counselor.

No coffee today, sad sad times :(

Xo- Tony

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you've gotta be kidding me...

2026-03-11T19:15:53Z

"Pennies and colder fountains"

Today has gone from ticking time bomb to I'm walkin' on sunshine YEAHHH.

People are trying to bully and possibly fight my friend, and I don't stand for that. The girl that's doing it is someone I know a little personally. I know she's a horrible person inside and out. She's like one of those ugly witches, the ones that make up rumors like concoctions and poison the school with her spell.

I walked into my orchestra class today and was scared to death. For some background, I'm in an orchestra. I'm a violin, but for the pieces we have right now I'm 3rd violin (viola part adapted to treble clef, violin and viola have different clefs). I usually sit with the violas. I walk in, unpack my bag, and I see that I am the only 3rd violin, the only viola, that came to class. So out of the 25 violins and 7 cellos and 2 basses I am the only viola. I rarely practice in that class, so I was obviously praying to be magically smashed by a piano.

My friend brought 2 two liter bottles of Dr. K (she couldn't afford the name brand) and ROOT BEER!! Plus cups so we could drink something not straight out of the bottle, AWESOME! I'm so happy I get to drink soft drinks in school (they don't sell soft drinks like these In here)

Your doing what you said you wouldn't, said what you never did.

xoXOOXO- Antonio

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well THAT just happened

2026-03-09T19:15:19Z

"We are like young volcanoes"
Schools been kind of boring today...I mean nothing crazy has happened yet. I'm actually quite pleased that today has been slow. It gives me a break from all of the work and stress I have. Since I have testing tomorrow I'm taking this day to mentally prepare myself for 4 straight hours of that hell.

My mom keeps mentioning London and the UK like we're going to move there. I'm happy and not with that. I mean, I love the UK, I think it's quite nice. But I also don't want to leave my home right now. I wouldn't mind moving houses though. I'm sadly beginning to resent my house, I want to move or even just redesign my room.

I had coffee today to start my day, so happy. I love my coffee (as you guys may know). You could say I'm addicted, but in my opinion its just my comfort drink (I am an addict).

Resurrect me if you can, I'm already in purgatory.

XOXO- Antonio

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Sorry...I've been busy lol

2026-03-08T21:42:36Z

“My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out”

Yesterday i was very busy, so i couldn’t put a daily chapter of my little memoir up here.

My brother and I went to an IHop yesterday, yummy coffee. I had some kind of “spicy” breakfast burrito, though they were tacos, and they were not spicy in the slightest, and it was almost midnight. The best were the fries, crispy and warm like they were fresh out the oven. It felt like heaven eating them. My least favorite dish were the sausages. On the outside they seemed unassuming and pretty hot, deliciously cooked. Once i bit in……oh god.. the coldness hit my mouth like drinking ice cold water after chewing 2 pounds of spear mint gum…horrible. They didn’t even taste that good..

I’ve been drawing and writing more lately, my minds been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

I got sick sadly. I remeber sobbing because i couldn’t sleep, as one of my nostrils was stuffed full of snot. And not the one you could just blow into a tissue. No matter how much i blew my nose, it just stayed clogged up. I hate being sick.

reheat, repeat, re-enter, retreat

XOXO- Antonio

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Ding ding, loser alert

2026-03-06T20:11:05Z

"This elevator only goes up to ten"
Doing this whilst I still have a chance in a busy school day

1. Do you know of any other words for snow? What's your favorite and why?
Uhh...sleet? I don't know many words for snow, but sleet feels fun to say

2. What's your ideal temperature range for winter?
Snowy but not till I freeze into an ice block, I'm not used to cold weather lol

3. Favorite winter activity? What about it makes it your favorite?
I lovelovelove playing in the snow! best part of winter in my opinion. Christmas shopping and visiting family is always fun too.

4. What are three things you can't do without when winter arrives?
My phone, A thick jacket, and my music. I would die without my vices

5. Do you have favorite winter holiday activities?
I love staying in and drinking coffee, another of my addictions.

That was fun, got me thinking :)
XOXO- Antonio

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WHAT?!?!?!?

2026-03-06T14:27:04Z

"When I'm home alone, I just dance by myself"

Today's already been crazy. My brother -half asleep- decided to share the fact that last night he was held at GUNPOINT over McDonald's nuggets...Yeah...crazy.. I'm at school right now sadly. It feels like I'm a bird in a cage, and not even a cage at that. Just hands clasped tight around me till my wings are so deformed I can't fly. There's so many windows in here, I feel taunted by the image of the sweet-sweet outside.

Last night my mom screamed over grades and what not, I didn't mind getting told to do homework I was missing, I just don't like yelling. I miss my house, and I miss my coffee. I'll be sure to pound back 2 tons of it before bed, coffee makes me sleepy.

Sectionals suck (which I am at right now), the only reason I come is to get a free 100 on a major grade and for the utterly mouth-watering pastry they call a cinnamon bun. I don't know what they put in those things here, but it has to be some sort of drug.

I'm in class right now and I got stuck next to the cringe-eist couple in our year.....I'm delighted... They kept hugging and practically humping each other IN CLASS! how revolting.. This class is so irritating, and I have 6 more to go! oh the horror!

I have PHS (Principals of Human Services) somewhere after lunch. I don't mind that class, in actuality it's quite fun. The teacher is just so hypocritical it's insane. Right now were learning about taking care of children and their needs. I swear it's giving me some kind of baby fever, though I'm a man... Mpreg I guess?....

XOXO- Tony

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Alright, here we go...

2026-03-06T04:40:57Z

"Check, check one two. Alright here goes nothin' "

Hello! I'm Antonio, but most call me Tony. I've never really had a blogging website...so..I'm pretty awkward...hah...haha...haaah... This is just a little space to release all my stress, maybe post an oh-so-sad poem. How sweet, my own little void to yell and vomit into until im at a normal level of stability. Who even cares how vulgar I get on here, no ones listening, right?

XOXO- Antonio

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