tonyatthedisco | Reading

There's like 10 days left until TAI... release their new album, and 32 days until I see them in April, how do you guys feel about the singles we have already?

Personally, I'm not a fan of the reverb used on 2005, or the dreamy sounding aspect of the singles I've heard, but, I do like L-Train the most.

But what do you all think?

"Oh time doesn't care about anyone or anything"

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: (Coffee's For Closers) - Fall Out Boy

betterwithapen

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xxb1tterb3ll4xx

So I wasn't gonna mention that I'm not in my house and city for spring break since I didn't think it would be relevant...but I think it's gonna start being relevant very soon. So I live in a very small town and my uncle (dad's side) lives in a very large city (I'm a Floridian just guess which one), and I think we're gonna be moving to this bigger city soon.

I don't know when, but it's a big possibility since there's more jobs here or something. I never really cared for the town I live in regularly, but idk how to feel now that there's a chance I'll leave. I love my dad and want him to not be stressed anymore, so I feel so selfish for not being okay with it. :(

I don't even know how to make myself feel better right now, my usual poison is listening to music, but even that's failing me, my stomach aches like hell because of this.

Mega unhappy face.

Current Mood: nauseated
Current Music: Everything We Had - The Academy Is...

bluelinebones_27

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Current Mood: Yearning
Current Music: Death of Seasons - AFI

mcbrat

The whole time I was cleaning my windows people came to pray at the flower patch

Embedded in the parks sod below

There was an older woman who stood

Knelt

Bowed

And took photos and photos of the flowers from all angles

It was as if she had seen many flowers before (see the decorum)

But these had been stunning and ripe to her heart

Probably the first of the season to make their way

Into the part of the heart reserved for soft small fragile things

I washed my windows more softly and small

When I saw it happen each time

I was half naked practically hanging out of my window on the fourth floor overlooking the park

The park completely overlooked me!!

Because the tiny purple and pink and periwinkle ground irises shown flush and fleeting

I had my four windows to attend to— I was not offended.

I thought to cry onto the windows and wipe them clean

But I was wise and grabbed a pitcher

I thought to step out to the windowsill further

But I was wise and tied myself to my life

I thought to scrape the chipping paint also, and wash the outsides, and take a razor blade to the bits of paint someone negligent smudged on the ancient glass, and to recaulk the window settings and to give them all a thick coat of waterproof paint, I thought to ask the landlord what the windowsill color is so I can do that this spring

But I was wise and thought twice— remember this home is not yours.

Maybe I can beg the landlord and take pictures

Maybe he’ll even compliment astonished at how clean and glistening I could render a chipped and rotting window

Or maybe I will just live with wood that takes on water

I did my best today and that is enough

The flowers cannot see my chipped paint

Inside it looks immaculate

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: bed
Current Music: roomate strumming

betterwithapen

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youthsewage

i’ve been in a bad mood all week. or more like, i’ve been trying to cover up the mood with random crap that doesn’t even help- like i’m missing someone, or like my mind is just begging me to give up and go back to the miserable comfort of locking myself in my house and leaving everything behind.

rephrasing it, i think it’s just me trying to go back to the weird, sick safety of my depression. i hate it, and i hate myself for it. at the same time, it feels like something i’ll never escape. so for now, i’m just trying to figure myself out a bit more, but everyone and everything around me won't let me. maybe they’re just afraid they’ll lose me if i change- i hate that too.
as for my current night drama, there’s not much to tell. i tried to have a friendly talk with someone, but it turned sour and weird, leaving me feeling like shit again. i don’t understand these social rules where i’m to blame for someone elses shitty behhavior, but maybe that's just another weird thing about me.

my brain is just wired this way. like a curse i can’t get away from lol

goodnight, gabeee :- p

Current Mood: sleepy

mark posting in

dw_maintenance

Happy Saturday!

I'm going to be doing a little maintenance today. It will likely cause a tiny interruption of service (specifically for www.dreamwidth.org) on the order of 2-3 minutes while some settings propagate. If you're on a journal page, that should still work throughout!

If it doesn't work, the rollback plan is pretty quick, I'm just toggling a setting on how traffic gets to the site. I'll update this post if something goes wrong, but don't anticipate any interruption to be longer than 10 minutes even in a rollback situation.

einbeistrich

I’m waiting for boarding to begin. I had to put up with a jerk for 20 minutes who was determined to get a woman to tell him where she works and her name. Now I’m enjoying listening to the mix of German and Portuguese around me. How I love these two languages, no matter how ungrateful they may be. In the meantime, my heart aches. What should we do with the love we have for things and people when we can’t handle it properly? I still don’t quite know what to say about that. I just know that I’ve been trying to do everything at the last minute so I don’t have time to feel sadness or pain. It hasn’t been working.

P.S.: I didn’t get the internship I wanted because, according to the feedback, I’m overqualified for it. At the same time, I’m not qualified enough for the regular positions. WTF!

Current Location: Frankfurt Airport
Current Music: I Love You - Fontaines D. C.

xxb1tterb3ll4xx

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Current Music: Golden - Fall Out Boy

butyourewrong

what’s with people always assuming something is about them? it pisses me off..a lot. who even says you’re that relevant in someone’s life? and even if (and when) it’s about you, what makes you think you’re so special?

anyways. i hate how i know so much and so little about music. you think i’d be the fucking pop punk know-it-all because it’s all i talk about, but i feel like i know nothing.

i hate that caring so much about music makes me feel immature. i don’t want it to be something i grow out of. but when i hear the artists i look up to talking about how after their teenage years music didn’t mean as much, i can’t help but think it’s inevitable. i get so defensive about music because it’s something i can always turn to. something that’s still there when my nose stings, or when my nails mark my palms, or when my mouth hurts from smiling. so the idea of me not caring about it enough later in life is crazy to me.

i get so defensive about music because a lot of people don’t actually care. whether they only listen because they’re bored or to show off to someone they like. i hate posers

Current Mood: bitchy

grimcygnet

so the aforementioned person and i talked it out and we super cool. there were no hard feelings to begin with but it feels better that we talked it out before hanging out again yippeeeee. today we played ultimate chicken horse and goat simulator, then we went to the store nearby to get snacks and THEN we watched eyes wide shut. fuuuuuckass movie, i thought it was gonna be more about the elite cult but honestly i feel like it was more about bill and alice's marriage... everyone's favorite kind of drama to watch in the 90's i guess? also all the women were sooo thin. zero hate to thin people AT ALL in any way, but these women were all super 90's model thin. it kinda adds to the theme of elites doing absolutely bonkers shit with models? or something idk...

i keep getting home from this person's house like past 9 when its dark and i'm surprised that my parent's don't text me or anything while i'm there. it's probably because they trust me and my friends and to be honest? the weirdest thing besides the thing from sunday is just... mix up weird gross drinks and and make weird jokes and watch weird movies. and icl i think that's pretty normal. i've heard of kids in highschool doing wayyy worse things RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL that i would not even try. so yeah i think i'm actually pretty good. 18 is the legal drinking age for liquor here and 16 is the age for drinking beer. i think that's the majority for europe actually

my mom's watching some cool k-drama in the other room and i just had a good bowl of kimchi instant ramen. and i even got to put real kimchi in it cuz its one of the few times we get it aaaaah!!! one of my favorite foods ever, no it does not smell, it only smells bad if you're weak lmao. durian however... yes it smells. bearable if you live in an area where they're grown tbh. not as bad as people say it is and yes it's yummyyyy. anyways idk why i was talking about durian.

i'm kinda feeling okayish now... but omg i can't take too many social settings per week without getting drained. school was different because it's routine, and i knew practically everyone, but walking outside next to strangers? oh my god i wish i was fine with that because literally everyone else is fine with that. i should probably get checked for anxiety because one trip to the store has me like, panting n shit. and thankfully i don't get anxiety stomachaches too bad anymore because the thing causing THAT was just highschool, but like... i like to be able to breathe in the store? so i'm doing my own exposure therapy and walking more often. i like it and i even charged my camera to take pictures of birdies and the creek!!! i almost said "to shoot birdies" but that sounds like the OTHER shoot. like gerard way saying "we're shooting teenagers" while filming the mv for teenagers. i'm like gerard way but i'd never marry a pedo apologist or a racist lol. or charge one million fucking dollars for concert tix.

Current Mood: eeeee :3

einbeistrich

I can't stop crying. I don't want to let it go.

Current Location: Heidelberg, Germany

xxb1tterb3ll4xx

I got to cut class since 4th period, plus I'm not going tomorrow anyway so I got early springbreak! I need to buy the phone plan for my flip phone now that I have it (finally).

Testing is gonna start up now in April unfortunately, but its worth it for that feeling of utter relief when it's over, it does mean I have to actually learn math now, I absolutely hate algebra.

Though my reading exams have always been easy for me, I got the highest in my grade last quarter, plus I'm just best at reading and creative writing, it's my thing, sort of.

But I get to worry allllll about that after spring break, thankfully.

"As the smile ran away from his face"

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Piano Man - Billy Joel

betterwithapen

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betterwithapen

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butyourewrong

i am SO tired of people who just gained an idea of what real music is trying to tell me i don’t know about music. you literally just found about thursday and expected me not to know them?? i put you onto chiodos, why would i not know thursday? like it genuinely makes me sick. how am i a larp but you were listening to phonk just last year?? i’m getting that ache in my jaw that i always get when i’m angry. now it’s in my shoulder ugh

why would i not know about music when it’s all that i got?

hit me, knock me out, and let me go back to sleep.

Current Mood: frustrated

anais_pf posting in

thefridayfive

These questions were suggested by

spiralsheep.

1. Have you ever watched illusion magic? Close-up, or in a stage show, or on television? Did it work for you?

2. Have you ever wished on a star, or a lucky cat, or a coin in a wishing well? Did it work in some way?

3. Have you ever cast a spell, made a love charm, or tried a curse? Did it work in some way?

4. Are there any other traditional superstitions you pay attention to? Do they work in some way?

5. Would you want major magical powers like in a fantasy story? Which powers, and how would you use them?

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

mcbrat

Hair parted as curtains to a quiet inside
A sleeping animals quiet
Feeling the presence of a sleeping fawn
Not knowing where it is curled in wet grass
Wet and dense like a slow sleep
Heavy legs striking knees striking ankles
Muscle holding tendons holding bones
“Ill grow my hair long just to cut it short again”
Rifling aimlessly
Large copper rod windchimes
Bumping eachother in the day-night pre-dawn
Your teeth scrape every utensil on the way out of your mouth
Somehow your mouth is kinder
And more open to me

Current Location: colchester
Current Music: people babble

mcbrat

It's not feeling at all grave or heavy or consequential. Yes there very well may come a gravity and a weight and a consequence- but as of now i have a sane impish smile in mirror of yours. A filigree of something fleeting flashing sleeping, laying standing waiting in white. Wet grass waits to dry for no one. Wet air hangs to dry for no one. The wet air says- see your breath, look at your breath, feel your breath but breathe me first. Breathe me first. It is an untethering, a skinning, a dissapparation into that same air. I have no doubt that the breaths we hushed into each other's mouths will articulate in the wind forever. Forever is a long time but like water it is in infinite circulation- never to be created or destroyed– boy i am home. The blades of my shoulders are cold like my toes, my heart lays bobbing in a pot on the stove, please keep it there still beating and old. And an optical nerve so I can see how you've grown. Its complexity must be imposed– it is not implied– sentiment cannot hide. Soft skinned musky grapes drink me down as you burst. Hold me up as you burst. It murmurs it murmurs it murmurs– my headache is gone. Replaced by a fullness of a child's pre dawn. Ousted the drums– wiped onto the floor. We don't have to live like this anymore. Love me love me want me want me look at me look at me yes its me. Smoke pools and rushes ice over windowpanes– the same ones that fog and protect us from rain. Your arms fold in protector of the insides, i feel lucky to see and be seen in them.

Current Location: colchester
Current Music: pavement

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Antonii

March 2026

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Page Summary

xxb1tterb3ll4xx - Oh, Change Will Come, And Soon.
betterwithapen - Yule Shoot Ur Eye Out
xxb1tterb3ll4xx - "Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist."
bluelinebones_27 - I watched the stars fall upon us
mcbrat - stream of conciousness poem to a buddy
betterwithapen - Maybe You're Wrong About Yourself
youthsewage - old aches become new again
mark in dw_maintenance - Performing some traffic maintenance today
einbeistrich - FRA > GRU
xxb1tterb3ll4xx - No Wit, No Conscience, and An Empty Stomach
butyourewrong - all you are is history
grimcygnet - building off of last entry
einbeistrich - (no subject)
xxb1tterb3ll4xx - "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
betterwithapen - +Tomorrow -Yesterday
betterwithapen - Favorite Record
butyourewrong - and catch me up
anais_pf in thefridayfive - The Friday Five for 13 March 2026: Magical Questions
mcbrat - Alley 08.03.2026
mcbrat - dew poem

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Page generated Mar. 18th, 2026 11:06 am

I am a Collection of Peoples Worst Mistakes.

3..2...1....

Reading

Oh, Change Will Come, And Soon.

Yule Shoot Ur Eye Out

"Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist."

I watched the stars fall upon us

stream of conciousness poem to a buddy

Maybe You're Wrong About Yourself

old aches become new again

Performing some traffic maintenance today

FRA > GRU

No Wit, No Conscience, and An Empty Stomach

all you are is history

building off of last entry

(no subject)

"Bill, I believe this is killing me."

+Tomorrow -Yesterday

Favorite Record

and catch me up

The Friday Five for 13 March 2026: Magical Questions

Alley 08.03.2026

dew poem

Profile

March 2026

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